especially for you

wla lng

2006-01-23T06:48:00.000-08:00

eto ang blogsite na malapit na magsara. haha. wawa naman aku. lolz

ewan

2006-01-21T04:03:00.000-08:00

sad day. :,(

umuwi na ulit si daddy sa afghan. hinatid namin knina sa airport. napayakap ako sa kanya ng mahigpit bago siya umalis.my family was really bonded this new year. i mean it's a good new year start. God knows how I love them so much. I'm really thankful for being blessed with this family. It's just sad that we have to see people go.The world is dynamic and change is the only permanent thing in the world.Deym sa totoo lng naiiyak ako.waahh... mahal na mahal ko kase daddy ko. haha. dinaan sa tawa eh noh. pero naluluha ako habang tintype ko to. :/

confessions

2005-12-16T19:59:00.000-08:00

Confessions

The lettering.. It was really meant for you. Im sorry i had to lie. I just dont want another chapter to be added. Yes, i love you. Ill always will. You will always have that special place in my heart pero hanggang dun nalang yun. I dont want a commitment. Id rather hurt you now, than have you hurt of letting go. Masakit yun. I know how painful it is kase naranasan na natin pareho yun. Pareho na nating ayaw sa isat isa, sa commitment at relationship na to pero mahirap mag let go pag mahal. Kung malaman mo nga un.. ano pagkatapos? masaya tayo saglit. pero di ko talga kaya panindigan. Di ko kaya panindigan yung feelings na yun with mere acceptance. It is not enough to keep me holding on forever. Im really sorry.. alam ko nasaktan kita. pero i have to deal with it, or else ako din mahihirapan.

tapos dumating pa tong isa. sheesh.. di ko na alam.

i dont know if im capable of commiting myself and loving again. Sooner or later nararamdaman ko masasaktan ko tong 2 tao na to.. :/

nalulungkot

2005-12-05T01:49:00.000-08:00

hindi ba pdeng sa susunod na magsusulat ako dito masaya naman ako. puro kalungkutan tong site na to silaban ko to eh. haha. dami ko pa ggawin.. roar..

ah basta wafu c cedric. ganda c hermione tska fleur. kyot din c krum. woot! haha. adek sa hp. sana andun nlng ako sa mundo nila. tutal wafu naman c tom ridol. haha. bbigyan ko nlng un ng amortentia at tutulungan ko bumalik sa dating itsura. hahaha. shet adeek! sori na bangenge. viva dumboldor! haha patay na nga eh. binuhay.. haha bano.

owels papels.. nagpapakasaya lang.mamaya catatonic nako sa sobrang lungkot. hindi ako hihinga kase papatayin nila ko pag huminga ako. HAHA. excited nako magmental. woot! HI CLOUDS! haha.

wala lng

2005-11-27T22:29:00.000-08:00

fear is my greatest enemy. =/

romeo and juliet, gig @ mayrics and motor sports

2005-09-23T09:10:00.000-07:00

12:30am saturday morning

Kakauwi ko lang from CCP. We watched Romeo and Juliet. nakita ko na naman si wowie! Asteg! haha.. syempre kumain muna ko bago umuwi. gutom nako mehn, no dinner e. What a day to.. nung umaga palang pahirapan na gumicing. nagalarm ako ng 400am to study pero di rin ako nkpagaral kase since last night namamanhid yung sinuses ko. ang bigat e, di nga masakit pero nkakadistract nman. 2 times na nangyari to tapos naparesthesia din yung cheeks ko nung swimming practice. something is wrong with my nerves men.. =/

Nakakatuwa dahil nakuha kami sa motor sports and mayrics. overwhelming lang yung sa mayrics kasi nman mga tumutugtog dun mga moonstar at stonefree. deym, bigatin. katakot tuloy. Pero for experience i want to try. kahit 2nd lang kami at least recognized kagad. haha patawa lng kase nman mga 11-12 yta ay naglalakad pa kami sa university belt. walang pera, walang energy at walang itutugtog.. haha watta experience. nkakapayat e. haha :p

ngayon, since ganito na at mahina na katawan ko magnNPO na tlga ko and diet(ang sexy nman kase nilang lahat! nagmumuka kong guys e)..HAHA! and no bisyo anymore. my sinuses are really pissing me off. Kulang ako sa riboflavin, ang sakit ng windburn ko. sobrang hina ng immune system ko ngayon. klngan magpalakas.

next week is hell week again, final exams, research editing, drug lit deadline. taghirap pa.. roar! haha.. pero oks lng i love it! LIBYA (Love is beautiful you also! haha baduy!) :)

-------outtie :)--------------

september 13, 2005

2005-09-12T20:28:00.000-07:00

13 going on 30

It's break time and we still have 30 minutes left. this computer lab saks! haha.. deym, no friendster, no ym, no mIRC haha.. at least may blog pa. Last night, I was at number wan's house and we watched 13 going on 30. astig mehn! haha *kilig*. Do you know where I could find that wishing dust? I need that badly! hehe.. I want to wish that I would never think of bad things again. I deleted my previous entry! It saks e. haha.. anyway, let's go back to Jenna Ricks. HAHA! Ang kulet eh noh. pano ba nman kase kilig na kilig ako dun sa bestfriend nya. Patalo lang ung pangalan pero ok na sana! hehe.. ah deym.. That movie just reminded me of enjoying my life. Yeah, I'm still young. I still have so much to learn. I still have so much to experience. It also reminded me to love myself. hehe.. ok. im out! muah! :)

I------somewhere in between------I

iloilo here i come!

2005-09-07T00:29:00.000-07:00

woooooooo! i'm back! i just arrived from school. im supposed to be doing my case study pero mamaya na yun! haha.. anyway, i just got my grades in nursing, pharma, and health strat. I did fine kahit na its not that high, I deserved it for being so lazy. ngayon kumain na nman ako ng mdami!! cheeseburger meal and strawberry float! grr i think i still weigh 116! grabe heavy weight mehn. di ko na kaya. magpapapayat n tlga ko (crossfingers) haha.. aim ko 90 lbs e. kya ko kaya un? haha.. gudlak.

Kanina may meeting kami! i'm so excited na. A benchmarking will be held as part of the nursing week on september 19-21. We'll be visiting other st. paul schools sa different parts ng Philippines. I chose iloilo. Probably mga 17 kami umalis, then we'll be back by 21. 2 lang kami ni Mars magkasama sa Iloilo with a clinical instructor.Nattempt ako mag Baguio nalang kase it's a lot cheaper and malamig pa! Anyway, kung san man ako kasama excited na ko! wooh!

ok hanggang d2 nalang. gagawa nako! im out---- ^_^

-------------------------

alone

2005-09-02T18:20:00.000-07:00

-im so... alone? hay..

-di na updated tong site na to. may agiw na parang ako. haha..
saka ko na to aayusin to..pag maayos na buhay ko.
pero malamang pag maayos na buhay ko.
di nko magbblog.kase puro aral lng ggawin ko.

-kahapon-- may bring me.di man lng ako nkakuha ng pagkain. aba linabas ko na lahat ng gamit sa bag ko. bat ganun? pti perlas ni mami winagayway ko na pra un ang ipabring me.la pa ren.haha.. takte.

-lam na ni ronan kng cno c rj. at malalaman na ng lahat for sure.haha

-pasado ko sa pharma at proud ako sa score ko don.nagaral ako don e.pasado sa rle midterm exam. ung nursing wla pa... gudlak di ako nagaral don.

-may sense ba? wala d b? alam ko kaya. parang buhay ko.walang sense. haha..

-im not empty..just lonely. ewan.

-museum tour ngayon with bsn3 and hrm.alis ako myang 11.

-kagabe, nasabihan na naman ako na mataba.bano e.

-hindi masaya pag masaya lahat. tapos ikaw lng hindi.

-im so weak.i cant even do something productive.

-yoko na magaral. gs2 ko..wala. sa isang sulok..

---

a new life

2005-08-23T00:17:00.000-07:00

well well look who's here.. hehe.. im back :)

im quite happy because once again naayos ko na sarili ko. :P dumadaan siguro talaga sa buhay ng tao na nagiging feeling matured, feeling kaya lahat but when something bad happens you feel na everything falls apart. that's what ive been for the past months. kaya ang dali maging empty eh. i realized na somehow ay naging conceited ako and selfish. im glad.. nagising ako. hehe.. i have been too impulsive. nakakahiya man pero totoo. well ayun im just glad na i realized it. magiging helpful yun pra sa development ko. :P

im happy for all the people around me. kahit lahat kayo iniwan nyo ko magisa! nak ng.. haha.. j4 meh pakner lahat, ch may pakner lahat..paulinians buti nlng di lahat. hehe oks lng masaya ko pra senyo..kami nlng yta ni pao. kso un c pao may nagaantay sknya sa pinas. ehehe.. ay c ano kya? ahaha..

grabe...naggain ako ng 16 lbs. takte i look freaking taba! haha..pero oks lng papayat na ko.. serious na..

cge na so much for my psychobabble.. shoo away! muahugz!

empty

2005-08-19T02:32:00.000-07:00

im not feeling so good right now. shit.. i feel empty. i feel worthless. im no good. hay... i do not deserve good things in the world.. ewan nalulungkot lng tlga cguro ako.. this will pass.. :(

ayoko na..

ayoko na tlga... :'(

------

all this time

2005-07-28T04:50:00.000-07:00

All this time
I know some day you'd need to find
Something that you left behind
Something I can't give you
All these tears
And like a light love disappears
But hearts are good for souvenirs
And memories are forever
All this time
All in all I've no regrets
The sun still shines the sun still sets
The heart forgives the heart forgets
But what will I do now with all this time
One more kiss
Even though it's come to this
I'll close my eyes and make a wish
Hoping you'll remember
All this time
All in all I've no regrets
The sun still shines the sun still sets
And the heart forgives, the heart forgets
But what will I do now with all this time
Say goodbye
Apart we'll make another try
But don't be sorry if you cry
I'll be crying too

ang ganda mehn.. whew!:) la lng.. pakinggan nyo..
dedicated to no one to.. haha bsta mganda lang..

patrek letter

2005-07-09T13:02:00.000-07:00

..A life that is not reflected upon is a life not worth living..

The best pre-retreat starter

to number wan! bano.. para syo kaya to..

Thank you for sharing what you have learned in your life's journey. Thank you for being willing to share a part of you with me to keep me away from harm and be the best person I can be. Our friendship is priceless. I would never trade my friendship with you and I’m so grateful to the Lord that he created people like you. You are a good person. You are the best big bro and I swear to my old man's grave I will always be here for you. You inspired me a lot. I will always treasure our friendship and I know this friendship will last a lifetime. You are one of the persons worth keeping and I know I'll never regret the day I became your friend. Yes, we are children of God united by destiny and coincidence and we are trying to help each other out. (Kahit na madalas ako ang matigas ulo at wala kong naitutulong na mabuti sayo! Hehe..)For the past few days, weeks and months na rin siguro, I have been far from God. I feel that I’m losing track again. Sa totoo lang may mga exams akong bagsakan at I feel I'm not giving a hundred percent on my studies. I always hated that feeling and sometimes wala na talaga kong gana sa buhay. You reminded of the real world and I started to feel human again. That we stumble and fall pero bumabangon pa rin. You gave me inspiration and somehow motivated me to be ready for growth, ready to love, ready to face challenges, ready to be the person I wanted to be, ready to share my happiness with others and yes I felt stronger. I realized my own worth. The most important thing is the emptiness in me is starting to fade away because I can feel God coming back into my life.

Share lang sa others.. an excerpt hehe..

.."I hope that 'the one' who will find you someday will see your worth, will not take you for granted, will see God in you, will see you as his guiding light, will be willing to tuck you in bed every night, & tell you a bed time story, will sing your favorite song, will bring you flowers, will pray for every chance he gets and will be willing to pray with you, will go to church with you and as the cliché goes, someone who will present you to his family and friends, to the world and to God that he's willing to marry you and live with you till the end of your time.."

Oha! Ang thoughtful noh?! Haha..

Galing sa puso tong blog na to, kaya matouch ka nak ng!

Im telling what I feel, right there and then..Im proud to share it to other people and tell them that you're one of the people I treasure and love..I'm sharing it with others just as you have taught me, Just give love. Thank you so much. ^_^ Mahal kita! (ngek alam mo na un eh! Haha paulit ulit eh parang c joe!)

In our journey of life, live in a questioning way in order to grow and find your purpose. Live the questions and gradually you will find the answers.

kinilig daw ba

2005-07-05T22:24:00.000-07:00

..as i whisper your name into the sky, i will wake up happy..

--retreat na tomorrow hanggang saturday! excited nako. kelangan ko na tlga ng break. at gs2 ko rin makasama c Lord ng walang ibang iniintindi kundi sya. hay.. matagal nakong di dumadaan ng prayer room. Yinaya ako knina ni katz, at deym ang sarap nyang kausap.hehe..narealize ko matagal nako di nkakapgpray ng maayos. Knina minadali na yung prayer ko because of time constraints pero namiss ko tlga yun as in. i have been feeling empty kase for the past few days. eh yun.. good start. gusto ko na magretreat.^_^

sad

2005-07-04T21:46:00.000-07:00

LAB PA RIN

2005-07-02T16:32:00.000-07:00

WEE YOO WEE YOO! WOO! :)

Anyone who has gone through the agony of
losing someone she
loves so much will still wish against all odds to
have that love back
again. But, sometimes a love lost is a love gone
forever. No amount of
hope can bring to life a relationship that just died a
natural death. Set
yourself free. Let your heart spread its wings and
fly. Remember, it
may rain for 40 days and 40 nights, but still will not
rain forever. One
day the pouring will stop and there will be plenty of
branches where
you can find rest. On one of these is where you
will build your nest and
start over again. It's never too late. Remember, you
may find love and
lose it but, "WHEN LOVE DIES, YOU NEVER
HAVE TO DIE WITH IT".

Remember that you cannot be a redeemer all
your life. The best
way to weigh a relationship is out in the test of fire.
You cannot be a
prisoner of your mistake forever. Remember, we all
fail and make wrong
decisions but our blunders are meant not to bury
us deep in misery but
to teach us the valued lessons of life. Loving is
always a learning
process.

With love, we learn how to care and
sacrifice. We learn to
share and reach out. We learn to be unselfish and
give more than we can.
And when everything doesn't end well, we learn
how it feels to fall, we
strive to get back on our feet and move on. This is
where we learn that
"Life doesn't end where our heartaches begin".

THERE IS NO FUTURE IN A RELATIONSHIP
OF LIES AND SELFISHNESS. It's
true, there's life in love. But, there can still be life
even after
losing love if you leave the past behind and let your
heart heal and give
you the chance to find yourself again. The success
of a relationship
lies not only in the beauty of its beginning but in its
consistency. Make
a choice not on impulse but a decision based on a
healthy balance of
mind and heart. Let us always remember
that "HAPPINESS IS NOT A MATTER OF
DESTINY BUT A MATTER OF CHOICE".

rebound

2005-07-02T16:27:00.000-07:00

DI AKO SAWI AH..

There comes a time in our lives when we chance
upon someone so nice
and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so
intensely attracted
to that person. This feeling soon becomes part of
our everyday lives
and eventually consumes our thoughts and
actions. The sad part of its
when we begin to realize that this person feels
nothing more for us than
friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get
noticed and be closer
but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and
we end up being
sorry for ourselves.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO FORGET SOMEONE
YOU LOVE. WHAT YOU NEED TO LEARN
IS HOW TO ACCEPT THE VERDICT OF REALITY
WITHOUT BEING BITTER OR SORRY
FOR YOURSELF. YOU WOULD BETTER OFF
GIVING THAT DEDICATION AND LOVE TO
SOMEONE MORE DESERVING". Don't let your
heart run your life, be sensible
and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only
to your feelings
but to reason as well. Always remember that if you
lose someone today, it
means that someone better is coming tomorrow.

"IF YOU LOSE LOVE, THAT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT YOU HAVE FAILED IN LOVE.
CRY IF YOU HAVE TO, BUT MAKE SURE TO
LET THE TEARS WASH AWAY THE HURT
AND THE BITTERNESS THAT THE PAST LEFT
YOU WITH. LET GO OF YESTERDAY AND
LOVE WILL FIND ITS BACK TO YOU". And when
it does, pray that it may be
the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

A woman on the rebound could easily fall for
sweeping emotions and
be made to falsely believe that she finally stumbled
upon the right man
when what she just found is only someone to
cover up for the love she
lost. A man who makes promises with words and
not with actions may
never live up to fulfill them. "IT'S TRUE THAT LOVE
CAN WAIT FOREVER BUT IT
IS CRAZY TO STUBBORNLY HOPE FOR
SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EVEN CARE OR
UNDERSTAND HOW WE FEEL".

random thoughts

2005-06-25T18:19:00.000-07:00

random thoughts -- senti mode

** conversation line : ang tanong.. handa ka bang masaktan para sa kanya? at handa ka rin bang tanggapin na ganun na sya?

** may mga salitang di ko kaya panindigan. at tama ka, un ang dapat kong matutunan. kase naman, mahirap taluhin ang feelings. ang pwede mo lang gawin is to hide what you feel pero kahit kelan di mo mababaliktad yun..

** naasar ako sa mga masyadong presko.. pls lng stapet.. sapaken ka ni thally u want? ahahaha.. mnsan lng maasar yun..labyu talangka! muah! muah! ^_^

** madaming gagawin. case study, aral and many more! haha..ngawa ko pang magblog, hay..gs2 ko lng maglabas ng feelings..

** i dont wanna bore you with it.. ooh but i love you..kanta lng.haha.alam ko kaya.

** conversation line: im just one of her boys who is lucky enough to be with her most of the time...pde magcomment? ahaha..boo..

** joven..magpakita ka d2 kng ayaw mong mawala na ko.. bagay tayo pareho tayong nawawalang kaluluwa..HAHA! see you in the next mubie session.. ^_^

** hay..kng ano ano naiisip ko.. ang sarap magsenti pagmnsan.. sali kayo? tara sali ka..

sa haus ni tin and icel

2005-05-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

Morning all. :)

Kagabe kumain na naman ako ng mdami(siomai,isaw,pop,cheese curls).takaw! Then punta sa cashmere to visit tin. Jk lng di ako namboys.haha. cguro ,mga 10pm na rin nung bumalik kmi ng ch. Tapos dun kmi sa haus ni icel kc nsa bangkok parents nya kaya nagkalat kami sa haus nila.hehe. Senti mode kami hanggang 1230am. Dun kami sa sala tapos sa dining yung friends ng kuya ni Icel. Sarap, nkahiga lang kmi sa floor tapos lights off with senti sounds..haha. Ayoko na nga bumangon e.Talaga naman napasenti mode ako.haha.

Icel and I decided to celebrate our birthday ng sabay. Hopefully, c bes(KC) macontact namin para tatlo na kming magcelebrate.Loss contact kase ever since nagasawa sya and nawawalan pako ng phone. We decided na mag Cowboy with CH crew on june 7(tentative). Deym, i cant wait. Naexcite ako. haha.

Naisip ko, pag dumating yung kinatatakutan ko so be it. Im ready. Tama ka. Siguro kaya lumalayo ako kc kahit pano iniinda ko to. Subconsciously, natatakot ako hindi ko lang tlga iniisip. Lam ko mahirap kase maraming masasaktan, maraming maiiwanan at malulungkot. I do not wish to speak of this anymore. And pls dont ask kase mahirap din to para sken. This could be something or could be nothing. Salamat sa taong laging anjan para saken. Sa kabila ng mga ngiti ko, you see my agony, fears, and weakness. You prayed for me(tats ako!haha!), you believed in me. You know ur one of the people who makes me strong. Thank you. No comment ka nlng ok? :)

I lift this all up to the Lord.Ikaw na bahala almighty.. :)

Okay, enap! happy mode.. bawal malungkot... :)!haha! muahugs!

----------------

spidey is spidey no more

2005-05-28T00:08:00.000-07:00

Another day again, alone.I mean of course not alone, I'm so blessed with my friends and family. Kaya lng syempre, iba pa rin yung you have someone to hold on to. There is someone you can hug, parang sanctuary mo besides God. Minsan hinahanap hanap ko rin mga yakap na yun. Lalo na pagkauwi ko at sobrang pagod. I mean yung there is someone real talaga na who would be there for you. Kase di ba, daming dumadating. Mrami yung nagccare pero yung authentic tlga na nararamdaman mo yung presence bihira lang. Kaya masarap pa rin ang may nagaalaga syo. Ay, 2 yrs and 2 mos na pala kami ni alden. haha. 28 ngayon. time flies men.. Malapit nko magbirthday deym, im 19 na.Tapos uwi na dad ko sa 9 then uwi kami before 14..dun ako magbbirthday kay Lolo(yey!).Ay papainom pa pala ko sa mga kababata ko.Wah, i miss all of you khit kgabe lng magkksma tyo.haha.. Tambay galore ako again.Kagabe, nsa haus ako ni kroks at ang dmi nyang pinakaing kanin. err, lapit na magbatangas lalo kong tumatakaw.Tapos pagkauwi ko by 1130 nga ba? ayun dun naman knila jon jon with von,icel and macel..

Kahapon, nangyari ang expected.Somehow nalungkot ako pero i was not expecting naman anything kase. Though he's special, di ko makita future sakanya. I cant see myself as me and him. Basta. It turned out na pareho pala kmi which is ok. Good thing nagopen up sya para nsbe ko na rin abt how I feel.Now we're friends.Di ba ikaw pa rin ang pigee ko? haha.. at ako pa rin ang biik mo.. :)

May kras ako sa east ave. haha..Bonding kami sa paglinis ng instruments. Yihee.. at lablayp ko ang pinagusapan namin.Ok ba? hehe..I'll never forget those eyes.. Wag na sya papakita sken kundi iisipin ko soulmate ko sya! nyahahah!

Hay, I'm young pa talaga. Dami ko pa talaga kelangan matutunan sa life..

Home by bryan mcknight(Nice song):
Master, upon my knees I pray. I just want to be the clay. Put your arms around me. Place my life in your hands. Lord, I know I'm just a man. Chastise me Baptise me, wash me whiter than the snow. I gotta find my way back home..

A letter for you

2005-05-25T00:37:00.000-07:00

Once there was a fairytale... This is for you...

This is the last time I'll speak of you. I'm over, and I have moved on. We are both happy now. You're happy with Joyce and I'm happily single! haha.. When you read this, hopefully you will know that I am happy that you came into my life..I mean I'm happy more than you ever know. Siguro you think I look down on you and I'm an arrogant ass.Lam ko masama pa loob mo saken. You know there's a reason for the things I do. I have no intentions of writing here the bad memories cause I want all the good memories to stay. I never had the chance kase to share with you the happiness I felt when we're together so im writing it down.

Flashback..
2 yrs ago, I saw pictures of you in my friend's wallet. In all the group pics talagang napawow ako! Ang pugi mo kc. haha.. Ako pa matapang nun eh noh.Sbe ko, "Kung ayaw mokong katext di wag!"..haha. Suplado kase kaya nagsuplada din ako. haha. Eh yun, so we became close tapos nagkita tayo unexpectedly dahil dumayo ka sa village. Natatawa nalang ako pag naalala ko yung times na yun. Then on a lonely night of March 28,2003 naging tayo. pno nangyari un? haha...cant remember din. No sparks, no magic, no romantic feelings. Nadevelop lang ang love as time passes. My love for you grew deeper. I felt so secured and contented. You became my inspiration, I had top grades, I felt invincible, I was very close to God and I've never been so thankful.

Stars left good memories. Dun palang sa haus ni Ken e, haha! Nakatingin ka sa taas, sbe mo ang "Ang dami noh?" haha... Ako naman feeling romantic.Sbe ko, "Oo nga ang daming stars." haha.. tapos sbe mo, "Hindi, yung mangga." nyahahah! Ampness yan. Hiyang hiya ko nun kya kita hinampas ng todo. Anyway, star gazing talaga ang hobby natin. I remember lagi tayong nakahiga sa banig tapos nakahug ka lng, kinakantahan mo pako ng iris nun habang nagsstar gazing. It's definitely one of the best memories we have you know.

930 am on Sundays. We went to mass together. I was happy when we did that. It's a shame but I had to admit, God was sometimes missing in our relationship.

June 13, 2004. My debut was spent with a date with you.

New Year of 2005. I spent it with you and your family. Ang dami kong nakain nun. Kainan sa amin tapos kainan din sa inyo.

The ring. Naghahanap tayo ng earrings, then a ring caught my attention.I said it was so cute. You asked if I want it, sbe ko maybe next time pag my budget kase bibili pako ng earrings. Then you paid for it when I was not looking! haha.. Sabe ko pa ang korny mo, pero kilig na kilig ako..un un eh. haha. tapos mas knilig pa yung saleslady kesa sken. Nagblush at napangiti. haha.. bottom line, eh naghug tayo nun. haha.. one kilig moment.

Red roses. No special occassions pero I received roses. Astig.. Ang swet tlga..haha..

Juicy fruit. I gave you a letter written in a wrapper of juicy fruit. I made you cry. haha.. Yun ung time na muntik nako sumuko saten. Haha..Donita Rose days yun e...

Jian. Ur kyutie kyut pamangkin that I love so mats. Dadalawin ko pa rin sya kahit ayaw moko makita. haha..Sabi ko sa kanya mahalin niya si Joyce kase yun na tita niya..Sana sa bday ni Jian, by that time kaya mo nako kausapin ng matino.. :p

These are the remembralls you left. Thank you sa lahat. I think di ko rin napakita syo how thankful I am sa mga sacrifices mo for me. Lalo na yung pag hinihintay mo ko rain or shine for hours para lang ihatid ako sa dorm. O kya para lang tulugan kita sa bahay.. I'm so thankful I had you around. You know I was always proud of you. Yung mga nasabe ko syo nun. lam ko nkita mo na effect nun, it was the push you needed to bring out the best in you. I was honest and loyal, though you don't want to believe me..pero you may ask him. Thank you for growing up with me, and I have learned a lot from you.

Kahit gano pa kalalim and kadami yung flaws, it seemed perfect for me. But ,my love died a natural death and it can never be restored. Thank you once again for being a part of my life. Take care of her and behave! Pls lng.. Dont do to her what you did to me huh! Pakilala mo na din knila lola at ate..hehe.. Ingat ka.. God Bless..

A Series of Misfortunate Events

2005-05-23T03:46:00.000-07:00

This day was very unlucky. Well, not as misfortunate as Sunny, Klaus and Violet..I'm not even close to having my parents killed in a fire! It's just that I really feel bad.Today, I
have no sleep, I was asked to make an incident report(just because we do not know that we're not allowed to go to the canteen!Ugh..) and I left the logbook at the hospital. I feel extremely low today.. I remember during these times that I feel so low, when i feel that the world is a burden and I just want to sleep and never wake up, I find my own sanctuary. I had two sanctuaries before: one is a common sanctuary, GOD; and the other is in the arms of my bestfriend. hehe.. The power of HUGS! :)

The SeaL

2005-05-13T23:39:00.000-07:00

You are the one who makes me happy...You are one of the few things worth remembering..
And since its all true.. How could anyone mean more to me than you..

Ayan. Ayan ang mga linyang panalo. Oo, meron isang tao jan nakakapagpasaya sken ng lubos. He can make me smile. He can make me sad. He makes me smile at songs that I never appreciated. (Tulad ng simpleng it might be you na ni minsan di ako knilig.haha!) He can make me kilig with his peeshing punchlines and the songs he sings. He can make me hurt. whoa! ang lakas ng powers mo mehn! ano ha? Sapakan! Oh yes... I am so happy. Fate brought us together, but destiny isnt enough, it's still the heart who decides who stays..Current status: M.U.? may kasunod pa ba? Let's see nlng what happens, I dont know either.

May 11, 2005.. a special day. a special moment :) Did that seal our fate? Lolz. Patalo! Nsa boundary plang ako e. hehe.. jk lng.Tama c Kroks, nsa akin pa rin un dahil ako lng naman nakakilala sa sarili ko. Thanks for all those who are happy for me. It is really special you know. Iba ka, thanks for believing in me. tama! Wala nga sa time un. Nsa chemistry. hehe.. Good point pare! Salamat sayo Kroks for being so open minded. :p

Wah! Natats ako sa mga kababata ko! Grabe! All the while I thought they dont care. Shucks. Group hug! :) Naalala ko mga kalye games naten. Ang saya ng taguan, patintero, tumbang preso, bike, pahabol sa aso, tumalon sa terrace with payong feeling parachute at maligo sa ulan! waah! Bukas ulet tambay sila here! Yey!

Shucks, im antok na.O sya.. paalam na..meme muna!

Im outtie na! Muah! :)

May 7 `05

2005-05-07T16:32:00.000-07:00

Morning..things are going fine..except that ang sakit tlga ng ulo ko sobra. hay...im going back to bed okay.. byers...

im back.. galing ako from mass. I've been reflecting a while ago. I realized din God must be so good to me. Sobrang blessed tlga ko. Unang una dahil may family ako na sobrang love ko at love ako., though malayo yung dad ko and sobrang delikado dun, kagabe nga may bombing na nman 3 is dead pero he's okay. At ang mom ko naman, napaluha kanina. :) bngyan ko ng flower after the mass, tapos hinug ko pa at kiss.. pti sila tita tuloy ntouch din.. hehe.. yung mga bros ko naman talaga love na love ko din khit lagi kmi nagaagawan sa pc..

Next, kc may mga friends ako na khit hindi kmi nagkkita in touch parin. Pati na ung group 5 ko ngayong summer. Mammiss ko sila, in a short span of time na magkasama kmi nagkaron na ng unity at initiative. Naalala ko yung mga toxic moments namin, mammiss ko din un. Sayang nga lang di na kmi groupmates kc khit saglit lng kami magksma minahal ko na ung group na un. . Ang dami kong love noh? hehe..Hay, i must be good tlga. Sobrang blessed talaga ko...Tapos nameet ko pa si pigee! wayup.. eh kc sobrang positive thinker un tapos lagi pang nakangiti at lagi pang nagpapangiti..Oh ha..Palakpak tenga c pigee! Msyado ba kong madrama? haha..Gusto ko lng ishare ang happiness ko with others..Kaya kung kelangan nyo ng happiness tawagin niyo lang ako at paliligayahin ko kayo!!

Happy mother's day...

another day 5/7

2005-05-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

bakasyon na! yey! hay puyat ako.. im happy grabe classmate ko pa rin c ace dude pare ko! owels.. inseparable tlga kmi. ako eto ngayon.. masaya.. meh date yta ko.. lolz.. haha..

happy mothers day sa mga mommies.... :) muah!

jamming day at olp :)

2005-05-05T15:47:00.000-07:00

gud morning..yesterday was ok kaya lng nung gabi nasobrahan ako sa pagkabugnot. Nung umaga pa may napaiyak akong groupmate, sobrang sensitib. naawa ko kc ang dami nya pang aausin sa sarili nya.ang lakas ng inferiority complex. she needs help pero she's refusing help. mailap kc sa mga tao e.. hay. anyway, ung group namin is going to play later for the patients. Pasok ako early today for our small presentation. Konting practice. :p at last day na pla ngayon. free nko next week.. woohoo..

Sorry kahapon. Ang dami kong napiss off.. hay.. my mood is getting worse. nakakamiss na dating buhay. nako usapang ex agen, nmimiss ko na ung nagpapaamo sken pag gn2 ko.hay, di na tlga ko dpat mkpagusap pag pagod. sobrang bully ko na kc pag antok eh.. nkakamiss din na kapag naddepress ako uuwi ako para lng ihug nya at sbhin everythings alright. ang dakilang shock absorber ko. i missed the days when nkahiga lng kami, nkahug sya tpos kinakantahan ako sa terrace looking at the stars, sharing dreams and planning for our future.lolz..mdami nga kaming napagdaanan but ayun it didnt work tlga.i just miss. yeah i still love him, but not as that special person I want to grow old with. As a friend...

Magulo buhay nya ngyon, hirap ng gnun e.i prefer someone stronger than me, sensible at may matutunan ako.lolz parang kmi ni ace to ah.. haha.. miss ko na rin yun isa ka pa chong! grr.. ang buddy ko for almost two years. mantakin mo chicken lng makakpaghiwalay smin. for months di kmi nagusap. haha...PG namin nun e.Nung nagbati naman inseparable na nman.kya napagkkamalan kming magon e. lolz.. cno guy? syempre ako. haha..

Hay nammiss ko na ang prestigious group , ube at wanlab... miss ko na kayo.. waah! kiss, muah muah! *hugs*

cge cge im outtie.. :p

charting charting!

2005-05-04T16:10:00.000-07:00

charting and ncp. yon lng gagawin ko ngyon. at maya ko na gagawin dahil naisip ko na nman gagawn ko.baet ni miss last night.di masyado toxic. nakatulog ako ng mahimbing kgabe sa sobrang pagod. anyways, nkakatuwa hinug ako ng kapatid ko ng mahigpit.kc tabi kmi matulog.napahug ako ng mahigpit.haha.ibang tao pla nsa isip ko.lolz. hay... kung ano mangyayari smin.. si Lord na bahala. In my life he can stay as long as he wants.. lolz :) ..he's worth keeping you know.Mapafriend or whatever..Oh ha..im spilling out my feelings here.. hay..

one day you'll see her and you know what i mean.. take her or leave her she will still be the same...she'll not try to buy you with her time. nothing's the same as you will see when she's gone..it's foreign on this side, and ill not leave my home again. There's no place to hide but i dont think i'm scared.. -this side by nickelcreek

night of April 4

2005-05-04T08:49:00.000-07:00

Oh yes God is so good to me. NO problems in my group so far and naendorse pla pat. ko.im so pissed today and agitated. grabe...naiinis ako sa sarili ko. hay.. thanks syo kahit ano mangyari ambait mo pa rin.wala na nga ko mukang ihaharap syo e.. sows..o sya.. antok nko. goodnight to you..

slamat pareng pred...

another day :)

2005-05-03T16:13:00.000-07:00

morning! im off for another tiring day.. at nkalimutan ko magendorse kagabe. shucks. knkabahan tuloy ako... sana ok na. anyway, magdadasal nlng muna ko.. kain na tpos study then pasok.. hay.. o sya.. have to go.. byers.. muah!

you changed my life..you showed me the way..ive waited long enough to find you, i want to put all the hurt behind you... and i wanna bring out all the love inside you.....oh yes favorite lines..

Good Morning :)

2005-05-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

Good Morning!! Lovely day.. hehe.. Another day of duty, 2 to 10 pm kami this week. Owel, tiring na nga pero ok lng. At least I'm not stucked up in the house. My blog is almost finished... thank you sayo ikko.. :) i liked it.. haha. syempre mababasa mo to kase aayusin mo pa site ko. Illibre kita coffee someday.. :) I'm happy nowadays. Hay binalik ko yung tray sa ex ko at sinusupladuhan nya ko. Bt gnun mga past ko? grr.. they dont want to be friends with me..sheesh.. Owel, I wish all the best for him kaso ngayon mukang magulo na naman buhay nya.I dont want to see him like this but I cant do anything. I see the world as a beautiful place and he's messing up his life. Ayoko na muna isipin.

Eto share lng from my Psych class :) I remember erick erickson's psychosocial theory: identity vs role confusion is the adolescent stage and intimacy vs isolation for the young adult.You can't love someone if you have not found ur identity yet because you have no identity to share with that special person. When you've found your identity, that's the only time you are ready to love. Thoughts..Isa pa..hehe. About destiny.. destiny decides who we meet in life but it's still the heart that decides who stays... :)

Salamat sayo..

2005-04-30T10:09:00.000-07:00

Especially for you

Especially for you
I wanna let you know what i was going
Through all the time we were apart
I thought of youYou were in my heart
My love never changedI still feel the same

especially for you
i wanna tell you i was feeling that way too
and if dreams were wings, you know
i would have flown to you
to be where you areNo matter how far+and now that i'm next to you
no more dreaming about tomorrow
forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I've got to say
it's all because of you

and now we're back together, together
i wanna show you my heart is oh so true
and all the love i have is+especially for you
Especially for youI wanna tell you,
you mean all the world to me
how i'm certain that our love was meant to be
you changed my lifeYou showed me the way
and now that i'm next to you
i've waited long enough to find you
i wanna put all the hurt behind you
Oh,and i wanna bring out all the love inside you..

** eto ang kantang nkapagpakilig sken. Matagal na rin akong di ngumingiti ng ganito. 2 yrs yta..or more? hehe..owel, salamat sa lahat ng taong sumuporta sken sa times when im down. Ace dude, slamat syo (sna mabasa mo to, we need to catch up.. :) ), nix at pao..at pti na rin syo erick khit di p tyo nagkkita, boto ko syo! hehe.. Mahal ko kayong lahat. at sorry sa mga taong nasaktan at napabayaan ko.Now im ready to face challenges of life, Im eager to learn and show the people i love that i care.. Napansin ng mga tao sa paligid ko lagi nko nkangiti after long years of sadness and emptiness.. Now im back to full power.. :) Salamat senyo, salamat kay God, at salamat SAYO... :) ***